Alternate
by Lethe Seraph
Summary: Everenergetic Jonouchi and prodigious Seto had been best friends since elementary school. They have now begun their first year of high school, and things have changed... but for the better? [AU, shounen ai. Hiatus]
1. Donut Memory Direction

**Alternate**

by Lethe Seraph

**Chapter One: Donut Memory Direction**

**            ---**

Yes.  It's an AU Jou/Seto fic.

            Ohohohoho.

            They are OOC.  But this is because they are AU.  They still have some of the same characteristics that make them themselves, and not just the physical ones. 

            Please enjoy.  Read and review.  It should get more interesting in the next chapter.

            Maybe if I scream "SETO LIKES JOU!" really loudly, then people will come.  

            Heh.

            ---

            They were huge.

            Jonouchi was amazed.

            "Beautiful," he whispered, caressing the closest one – soft, and… he took a bite… oh, so sweet.  It tasted of cinnamon.  He took another bite.  With apple filling!  This was the best day _ever_!

            He dove into the gigantic pile of-

            "Baka!  Wake up!"

            "Huh…?"  Jonouchi blinked his eyes open groggily.  The image came into focus, and he frowned.  "Oh… it's you," he mumbled.  "Go away… I was gonna eat the donuts…"

            "Come _on_!" yelled Seto good-naturedly, shaking Jonouchi for good measure.  "You can eat _real_ donuts if you just get up!  And get ready for school, too," he added.

            Jonouchi bolted upright.  "Donuts!"  He then processed the rest of Seto's words and burrowed back under the covers.  "School…"

            Seto sighed.  "You're going to make me late, idiot.  Get up."

            Ten minutes later, Seto had finally succeeded in forcing Jonouchi out of bed and into the kitchen.  It was now getting him out of the kitchen that would be hard.  Why he went through this every morning was beyond him; the two had known each other since elementary school, and never once had Jonouchi gotten up willingly.  

            "You can have a donut, too," offered Jonouchi.

            "It's all right.  I already ate."  Seto declined, as always.  "Dad made waffles, because it's Monday."

            "What does that hafta do with anything?" said Jonouchi through a big bite of donut.

            Seto shrugged.  "Mondays suck.  We might as well have waffles."

            Jou grinned.  "Good thinkin', Seto.  I approve."

            "I'm glad to know that," said Seto dryly.  "It's all the better coming from you."

            "That's ni- _hey_!" said Jou.  "Was that an insult?"

            "Not at all.  It was merely a sarcastic compliment."

            "Well, I'll take it as an insult."

            Seto smirked.  "Do what you will, pup.  Now hurry; you don't want to miss your first day of high school."

            Jou nodded and swallowed.  "Are you afraid, Seto-kun?"

            "No.  Are you?"

            "Kinda, not really."  Jou grinned lopsidedly.  "Kind of excited.  I hope we get the same homeroom."

            Seto agreed.  "Shall we get going?"

            "Yeah, 'kay.  Bye, Dad!" he called before slipping his shoes on and exiting.

            "I'll see you later, Jonouchi-san!" 

            "You too, brats!" replied Jonouchi's dad good-naturedly.

            -

            Seto didn't know a lot of things.  There were many mysteries in his life, most of them revolving around Jou.  Like how he managed to stuff so much food in a frame as slim as his and still manage to stay as lanky as he was.  Or how he could forget all of his school assignments, still get passing grades, and then remember the summary of every episode of his favorite cartoon show to boot.  He obviously wasted a lot of his brain space on trivial things.

            Another mystery was: why were he and Jou even friends?

            It had just worked out that way, he supposed.  They had met a long time ago – in kindergarten or first grade? – and just hit it off.  Or, rather, Jou had kept pestering him until he got used to it.  He smiled at the memories. 

            -

            "Hey!  What'cha doin'?"  A childish smile and a prod to the shoulder.

            "Why do you care?"

            "Curious," said the boy simply.  His hair was bright gold.

            "Well, go bother someone else.  If you must know, though, I'm working through a few algebra exercises."

            "…What?"

            "Math."

            "Oh!  Why wouldja work on that?  It doesn't sound very fun."

            "It's better than sitting around and doing nothing," said Seto, giving the child a glare.  Perhaps he would leave now.

            "What's your name?"

            He sighed.  A persistent one.  "Seto Kaiba."

            "I'm Katsuya Jonouchi!  Call me Jou.  Everyone does.  We're friends, okay?"

            Seto was silent.  Jonouchi seemed to take that as a yes, because that day at recess he invited Seto to play hopscotch with him.

            He said no.

            Every day after that, Jonouchi had asked him, and he had always said no.

            But Jonouchi just smiled and kept on trying.

            -

            "It's my birthday tomorrow, Seto!" said Jonouchi cheerfully, pushing himself off and swinging.  He looked over at Seto and grinned.  He had lost one of his teeth a few days ago.  Kaiba winced at the unnerving sight and turned back to his book, swinging absentmindedly.  

            "That's good, I suppose."

            "Yep!  I'm gonna be seven!"

            'That's great.  Congratulations," mumbled Seto.  He turned the page.

            "Heyyyyy," said Jou.  "Pay attention."

            "I am."

            "Pay _more_ attention!" whined Jou.

            Seto sighed and closed his book.

            "So!  Whatcha gonna get me?"

            "What _are_ you _going to_ get me," corrected Seto.

            "No, it's my birthday, baka!" said Jonouchi with another grin.  "_You're_ s'posed to get _me_ somethin'."

            "…I don't know.  I'll get you something," conceded Kaiba.  "May I read now?"

            "Sure!"

            The next day, he had agreed to play hopscotch with Jou.  Jou said that it was the best present he had ever gotten.

            -

            "Damn it," mumbled Jonouchi.  "Damn it…"

            "What's wrong, Jou?" said a nine-year-old Seto concernedly.  He put his hand on Jou's shoulder and bent over to look into his face.  Jonouchi was crying.  "Are you all right?"

            "No, I'm not all right," said Jonouchi.  "Just… go away, all right?  Don't need anyone right now."

            Seto flinched.  He had half a mind to stalk away, but years of knowing Jou had pounded into his mind that that was most definitely _not_ right, and he should do something to help.  "Yes, you do."  He rummaged around in a pocket.  "Ah, no handkerchief.  Darn."

            Jonouchi giggled.  "I wouldn't use it even if you gave it to me."

            "What, too girly for you?" joked Seto.

            Jonouchi frowned again and rubbed at his eyes.

            "…Is that what this is about?  You weren't being teased, were you?"  Seto grabbed Jonouchi by the chin and forced Jou to look him in the eyes.  "Who made you cry?"

            Jonouchi shook his head.  "Can't tell you."

            "Jou, come on.  I care, all right?  At least tell me what they said."

            Jou blinked at him and another tear spilled down his cheek, landing upon Seto's hand.  "He said… he said that I was a wimp and it was a mistake that I was born a boy and then…"

            "Then?"

            "H-he hit me…"

            Seto was filled with rage.  "Tell me who," he demanded.

            "But I can't!" whimpered Jou.  "I can't!"

            "Jonouchi," Seto had said.  "You're my best friend.  I have to know so I can do something about it."

            "…I'm your best friend?"

            "Yeah, Jou.  You are."

            Jonouchi smiled shakily.  "That helps."

            He told Seto.

            The next day, the child had been called into the principal's office.

            The day after, the child was gone.

            -

            "Seto!  I'm talking to you, here!" said Jou annoyedly.  "Earth to Seto!"

            "Sorry," said Kaiba sheepishly.  "Just thinking."

            Jonouchi was silent for a moment.  "…Well?"

            "Well what?"

            "Where's the punch line?"

            "Eh?"

            "Just thinking, unlike you," quoted Jonouchi in a high, breathy falsetto, "or 'Just thinking.  Bet you don't know how to do that!' or even 'Just thinking.  Too bad this is a trick the old dog can't learn!'  Come on, Seto.  What's on your mind?"

            Kaiba laughed.  "I was reflecting."

            "…And?  What else is new?" Jou deadpanned.

            Kaiba elaborated.  "When we were kids, and we met each other.  You were a really annoying brat."

            "Yeah, wasn't I, though?" said Jou wistfully.  "Ah, for the good old days."

            "What about the time Sakano insulted you and then beat you up?  That wasn't a good old day," said Seto.

            "I didn't say it was!  For all you know, there were _two_ good old days, and I was talking about _them._"  Jonouchi stuck out his tongue childishly.

            Seto was about to reply, when he stopped and looked around.

            "…Er, Jou?"

            "Yeah?"

            "Isn't the high school in the other direction?"

            They both looked at each other for a moment as it dawned.

            "OH, SHOOT!"

            They bolted off, jackets fluttering in the wind.


	2. Teacher Curse Study

**Alternate**

by Lethe Seraph

**Chapter Two: Teacher Curse Study**

            "Hello.  I am your homeroom teacher.  My name is on the board.  Kindly prove to me that you can read.  You are now in high school.  Being high-schoolers now, you are expected to…" 

            Did she ever shut up?  Just droning on, and on, and on.  Forever and a day, she would drone.  Jonouchi sighed.

            "You there.  What's your name?"

            Just going on and on about how much more responsible they were supposed to be now that they were older.  Jeez.  Did she think they didn't-

            "Pay attention!  I asked you a question!  What is your name?!"

            Jou snapped back to attention.  "Huh?  What?"

            The class stifled snickers.  Kaiba was grinning.

            "Oh, um!  I'm Jonouchi.  Jonouchi Katsuya.  …And you are?" he said politely.

            She raised an eyebrow.  "I just said that my name was on the board.  Shall I assume that you are unable to read?"

            God, what was she?  _Another_ Kaiba?  It had been bad enough having only one, thought Jou, smiling inwardly at the thought of his best friend, who was now laughing at him.  "I can read.  I just wasn't listening is all."

            Oops.

            Definitely not the right thing to say.  

            "It looks like we have our first detention of the year!"

            Definitely not.

            -

            "Now say it."

            "You're the best friend in the world and I'm madly in love with you."

            "Say it again."

            "You're the best friend in the world and I'm madly in love with you."

            "Okay, one more time."

            "Damn it, Kaiba, I get the idea.  You rock.  I suck.  I love you, you're my best friend in the whole entire world, and if I had anything worth owning I would put it down in the will as yours.  Happy?"

            "Quite," said Kaiba, seemingly satisfied.  "It's not every person that will be rude to the teacher just to give his friend company in detention."

            "Come on, you have to admit, that teacher was a complete ass."

            "Watch your mouth, Jou," said Kaiba in a tone that said they had had this conversation many times before.  "There are many other, better, ways to express oneself."

            "I was going for conciseness."

            "Try 'moron'."

            "Not nearly as descriptive.  She was a donkey, a jerk, and a mindless idiot.  Calling her a moron is just insulting her intellectual capacity.  Or I could call her a-"  Jou let off a string of words that made Kaiba wince and hit Jou upside the head.

            "Hey!  Watch the hair!" laughed Jou, dodging Kaiba's next attack and trying to get in a few of his own.

            "Why?  I couldn't possibly mess it up any further!"  

            "What are you two doing in there?" called Jonouchi's father from the next room, and the two dissolved into giggles.  

            "Nothing!" 

            "Honestly," they heard him mutter.  "You would think I was raising a pair of giddy girls…"

            "Even if I spend a lot of time at your house, I'm not your son, you know!"

            "You have very big ears, Seto!"

            "I'm not going to insult you right now!  I want to stay for dinner!"

            Seto and Jou grinned at each other.

            -

            Jonouchi had always been an energetic kid.  Kaiba could hardly keep up with him sometimes.  For about two months when he was ten, Jou had been in a Western cowboy phase, and had always persuaded Kaiba to play various villains.

            He had gotten pretty good at it. 

            Of course, then there was the evil crossdressing kingpin Lexor "Duke" Franz.  He wasn't sure exactly how Jou had come up with that one, or even how Jou had gotten him to go along with it.  

            -

            "Come on, please?  Please?  I can't play alone!"

            "Why can't I ever be the cowboy?" Seto had groaned, tossing his precalculus book to the floor.  "And why cowboys, anyway?  Why don't you ever want to play astronauts, or soldiers, or _anything _other than cowboys for that matter?"

            "Because cowboys are cool!" said Jou brightly.

            "What, and astronauts aren't?" said Seto with a raised eyebrow.

            "…Well, they're cool too, I guess," conceded Jou.  "But I wanna play cowboys.  And I thought of a great bad guy for you, too."

            "That's another thing.  Why am _I_ always the evil one?"

            "Because you fit the part!  I mean, you're all freaky and stuff.  See!  You're raising your eyebrow again.  That's a pretty evil look."

            "Hey…"

            "Come on.  For me.  After this we can play whatever _you_ want to play."

            "How about 'Shut Up and Let Kaiba Study'?" suggested Seto.

            "If that's what you want to play!" said Jou, cheerfully ignoring the sarcasm.  "All right!  Here we go!  I snuck Mom's makeup out this morning, and I think I put it over here…"

            "Wait!  You didn't say anything about makeup!"

            "You didn't ask!"

            "Jouuuu!"

            -

            That was the first and only time Seto had ever worn a dress.  Or stockings.  Or makeup.  Or tied his hair back… he was going to stop that train of thought right there.  It was too painful.

            "Seto?"

            "Hm?"

            "How do you do this problem, anyway?"  They were studying in Jonouchi's room now.  It was amazing that they had found room to lie on the floor, what with Jou's incredible lack of cleaning skills.  T-shirts and various papers were strewn about, and Jou's standard green jacket was tossed carelessly over a bedpost.  There were posters covering almost every inch of the room, half of them punk rock bands, which made the room seem even untidier than it really was.  There were quite a few brightly colored ones, though, all from cartoons and video games.  It was truly a mess.

            When was the last time he had cleaned his room?  Probably when he had managed to persuade Seto to help, and that had been well over four months ago now.  

            "Which one?"

            "This one, right here.  Number twenty-three."  

            Kaiba scooted closer to Jou and looked over his shoulder at the textbook.  "Jou, that's _easy_!"

            "Yeah, well, my mind isn't working right.  How could it be?  It's only the first day back from vacation and they expect us to do homework?"

            "I've already finished the first three months' worth, Jou."

            "So?  You aren't human!  You can't expect me to compare myself to you."

            He smirked.  "I suppose it would be a rather large blow to your ego."

            "Yeah, right.  My ego is made of steel."

            "Sure.  Just like your stomach, right?"

            "No, my stomach is made of stretchy, acid-resistant rubber."

            "How could I forget?"

            "Really!  I didn't think you could forget _anything_, Sir Perfect.  I guess your image is ruined forever."

            "I console myself with the fact that you shall never surpass me."

            "Hey, big words!  You aren't talking to your computer, you know."

            "You're getting worse.  I didn't even go past two syllables that time."  Kaiba grinned and flicked Jonouchi's forehead.  "What, has your stomach had to take over your brain space?"

            Jonouchi growled and pounced on Kaiba, jabbing him in the ribs.

            "Hey!  Quit it!  Bad Jou!" cried Seto, struggling to escape from underneath Jou and not succeeding.  "No fair!"  
            "All is fair in-"

            "If you say it, I'll have to hurt you!"

            "-love and war!"

            "So what is this, then!?"

            "Revenge?" grinned Jou as he tickled Seto further, eliciting a giggle from the brown-haired teen.

            "Get off of me, you… you lump!  You're _heavy_!"

            "Nuh-uh!  _You _have to say it now!"

            "Say what?!"

            "'You're the best friend in the world and I'm madly in love with you,'" quoted Jonouchi with a big, evil smile.

            "You... suck," said Kaiba.

            "Say it…"  Jou poked Kaiba.

            "No!  Never!"

            "Say it…"

            "Nev- ah!  Not the neck!  Not the neck!"

            In the next room, Jou's father sighed to himself.  "Those kids…"

            -

            Half an hour later, the two were still at it.  Kaiba stubbornly refused to give in, and Jou just as stubbornly wouldn't get off until Kaiba did.  

            "We're going to be here all night, aren't we?" sighed Kaiba.

            "Only if you don't say it!  It's been a while since you slept over anyway.  It'll be fun.  I'm sure your dad won't mind."

            "Damn it…" mumbled Kaiba.

            "Watch your mouth!"  Jonouchi was just growing more cheerful by the moment, wasn't he?  "Or I'll have to tickle you again."

            "Like you've been doing anything else," Kaiba muttered.  "You shouldn't take advantage of my weaknesses like that."

            "Well, it's what _you _taught me to do," Jonouchi pointed out with a laugh.  "It just means I pay attention to you after all."

            "Jou?"

            "Yeah?"

            "You do realize that if your father walked in, he would take this as 'wrong'?"

            "Huh?" said Jou innocently.

            "Jouuu!  You're sitting on top of me!  I'm lying on the floor!  You're a worse pervert than that, I know what you read online-"

            Jonouchi blushed brightly and immediately scrambled off of Kaiba.  "S-sorry."

            Kaiba was silent.

            "Uh, Seto…?"

            Kaiba suddenly smirked and tackled Jou.  "You're too weak!"

            "Hey!  Cheater!"

            -

            "Hello, may I speak to… oh, it's you.  Yes, is it all right if your son stays the night?  …I'm perfectly fine with it, and your son and mine are enjoying themselves… great, thank you.  Sure.  Katsuya will be at your house tomorrow then?  That would be fine.  Thank you again.  Have a good night."

            Click.

            The noises from Jou's bedroom didn't cease until midnight.

            ---

            To look forward to next chapter: Getting to know the other students!  We meet Yugi and various others, and Kaiba acts oddly.  I hope you liked this chapter.  Please review! ^_^

            ---


End file.
